OK, its Sukkot. That's the third holiday so far this year (Jewish of course.) And what activities has Aish in St. Louis done to attract newcomers at a time when Judaism is clearly elevated in the consciousness of our secular and disconnected brethren (and sisteren?) you ask? Why Learner's Services of course. Forgive me for questioning but is that really outreach? Isn't there so much more to the holidays than services???
Don't get me wrong. Learner's services are great for people who know they want services but don't want to go whole hog ( :@ - little kosher humor) for normal services. They do help elucidate things. But they're for people who know they want services. That's more than half the battle for outreach as far as I'm concerned. The real task is how to get people to actually be interested enough in Judaism to think they want to try a service, if they have never been to one, or it's been many many years and they don't bring back fond memories. I.e. how do you convince Jews that they want to be interested in Judaism in the first place? Especially when the idea of services brings back memories of boredom and confusion. This blogger thinks the key is to show them that there is more to Judaism than services in the first place. The Holidays, with their generally pleasant traditional observance and good food(we'll leave Yom Kippur out of it for now) are clearly the best time to do that. So what is Aish doing about that? Crickets: Chirp Chirp.
Now the Aish-associated synagogue is doing a Pizza Party in the Sukkah, mid-day Sunday with storeytellers and other little kid oriented stuff. And so once again Aish has decided that having activities for Jewish people who already have little Jewish kids is somehow going to prevent AssimilAishion. Well maybe it will in 20 years. Of course that ignores the fact that lots and lots of young Jewish adults are marrying out RIGHT NOW and not having little Jewish kids and aren't going to be at your Sukkah party. Apparently Aish thinks they can afford to skip a generation. Well, being a member of the generation they're apparently skipping, I tend to take offense. Why no evening Young Professionals Only Sukkah party (you can skip the storyteller) or something? Anything.
The assimilAishion problem continues to be low priority at the high holidays for Aish. Or so it seems.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
The Bitch is Back
Hey if she can call me a schmuck, payback's a bitch. Speaking of whom, she responded,"I'm sorry that you mistook Aish St. Louis for an on-going singles event. However, you're now in NYC, home to 2 million Jews. And plenty of "hip" Jewish singles events at that. And yet, you are marrying a non-Jew. That strikes me as a choice you've made, and not one you can blame on Aish St Louis or otherwise. I think it's pretty clear that Aish St. Louis targets an older demographic and one that is usually married. I think it's a mistake, but their claim is that is the group they are successful with. I also cut Aish a huge amount of slack for not doing much for the past year or so. E*****'s been a bit caught up with his two brain injured kids. I would also point out that your conjecture about the scope of classes from looking at the Aish website is pretty silly and bears no resemblance to what's going on there. I'm still confused about what the house has to do with anything. You seem to miss my point about halacha and converts. They are not going to set someone who hasn't converted up with a Jew. Aish rabbis are committed to halacha, even if their students are not. I still fail to see where you have an issue. As for Aish International, they seem to be aware of you and your complaints. It's not that they don't care. It's that they don't agree with you. You are obviously articulate and we already knew you were intelligent. This just seems like a colossal waste of your talents. And yes, vindictive. I really do wish that I could figure out what it is that you are trying to accomplish, other than smear the name of Aish St. Louis and International. Take care,C**** W*****
To which Yours Truly responded: I mistook no such thing. Aish tries to portray itself as being interested in Jews marrying Jews on their web sites, and in their literature. I admire the way you try to change the subject, ie you started by claiming that Aish was responsible for a lot of marriages, but when you realized you were wrong, claimed Aish isn't a singles group. No, it isn't, but when it is marketing to marriage-minded people it'd better realize that that's a part of outreach or it will have the sorry record it does on BT marriages. The blog is back, and better than ever, with the help of another St. Louis Aisher who agrees with me. If you have comments , post them there, where I will debate you publically and show the weakness of your position. By the way, feel free to call me a schmuck again publicly, where I can show just what Aish rabbis and their rebitzens are made of.
And that ends out diatribe for today, although the rebitzen is always more than welcome to write back.
To which Yours Truly responded: I mistook no such thing. Aish tries to portray itself as being interested in Jews marrying Jews on their web sites, and in their literature. I admire the way you try to change the subject, ie you started by claiming that Aish was responsible for a lot of marriages, but when you realized you were wrong, claimed Aish isn't a singles group. No, it isn't, but when it is marketing to marriage-minded people it'd better realize that that's a part of outreach or it will have the sorry record it does on BT marriages. The blog is back, and better than ever, with the help of another St. Louis Aisher who agrees with me. If you have comments , post them there, where I will debate you publically and show the weakness of your position. By the way, feel free to call me a schmuck again publicly, where I can show just what Aish rabbis and their rebitzens are made of.
And that ends out diatribe for today, although the rebitzen is always more than welcome to write back.
Further Adventures in Misinformation
When the facts got in the good Rebitzen's way she proceeded into name calling with the following effort:
Your comment was that you didn't know of more than one BT couple married in the past century. Would you like me to quote your blog for you? "In fact, I can only recall one getting married in St. Louis this century!" I named a few, I can name more. You want me to keep going? I thought I had made my point. And "since the house", even if it was true, what would that have to do with anything? Someone gave them a house that has sat empty (for lack of a salary to pay someone to live in it) and therefore they stopped setting people up? I don't get what A***** being a convert has to do with anything. She converted a few years ago, came back to St. Louis and got married to a guy she was set up with here. Your entire point is that no one is making any effort to marry singles off and that's simply not true. If you mean "she was off-limits before she converted", well, yeah. That's halacha. Sorry. Speed dating in St. Louis died a natural death, btw. You can only run a program with the same people showing up over and over before people stop showing up. Which is what happened. Could they have done a better job of recruiting new people to come? Maybe. But getting people to ANY program - Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Married, Single - in St. Louis is a major challenge. Aish certainly hasn't cornered the market on that. As to G****** L*** leaving, you are mistaken. The issue was funding. I also have problems with the "revolving door" of rabbis here at Aish, but the problem is not conflict with E*****. I certainly don't agree with him on everything, nor does my husband but that's not why people leave. They leave b/c someone in their infinite wisdom has decided they will give 2 years worth of salary (and it's not a big one, trust me - I've lived off it) and after that time they guy has to raise their own salary. Most of them can't do it. The the same source will turn around and give 2 years worth of salary to yet another "korban", but will not continue funding the original guy. I think it's stupid to keep bring new rabbis here and unrealistic to expect someone to be able to raise their own salary after 2 years, but aish feels they have nothing to lose by taking advantage of the deal - and hence the revolving door. As to E*****, I'm not sure what you have against his real estate dealings. He draws no salary from aish (he might on paper, but trust me, it's been years since he got paid) and he has to support his family. So he deals in real estate on the side (not very successfully lately, I might add, as the market has really gone sour here). That's a problem? In your world if they draw a salary from aish, they're a leach and if they don't draw a salary, they are...? What? Self-supporting for one. And give the guy a break - his family has been practically destroyed, he's got 2 kids with brain injuries from the accident, he works three jobs. That is where I think the slander is really beneath you. So "J**", I'm really not sure what you are trying to accomplish. I agree with you that I think that the direction of programming of Aish St. Louis is targeting the wrong demographic. But I think your blog doesn't nothing to change that and just seems to be a personal vendetta. Not to mention that it is filled with inaccuracies and slander. Don't be a schmuck. C**** W*****
To which this schmuck responded:
This centruy meaning 2000 on up. No, I can't think of two Jews who met at Aish since the house was acquired who got married, nor did you name one. I can only think of one possibility since 2000, and I'm not sure, but I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt, because I don't know for sure that it doesn't qualify. The house has sat vacant for two years, but according to you the salary was there to pay a new rabbi, just not the one who had been there. My issue with the converting is very simple really. Outreach, as I understand it, is supposed to be geared to other Jews. If others want to join, that's great, but it's not encouraged. Therefore, the target demographic that I would think would concern Aish would be Jews looking to explore their roots, not potential converts. Further, to dismiss the off-limits issue as just being halacha might play better in Brooklyn than at Aish. Here, in the real world, when people just shrug and say that's halacha, people accept it as such, but then shouldn't be shocked when a strict interpretation of that halacha, coupled with a lack of outreach to bring in eligible to marry Jews, leads to intermarriage. You're right, most of the rabbis can't secure their own funding. Implicit in that is that some can, and one did. The tragedy to the Aish family is indeed wrenching. But before it happened, several people tried to alert Aish's central offices as to what was happening, or was not happening, in St. Louis, to no avail. Not one single guy I went to classes with at Aish is dating a Jewish woman. And most guys who are committed enough to go to classes would marry Jewish if that were feasible. In closing I have nothing personal against any Aish rabbis. If I were vengeful I might resent the outreach rabbi who is charged with helping Jews grow but doesn't do any outreach to speak of and then voices outrage when people interdate by saying that they will burn in hell and not be buried in a Jewish cemetary. That said, you'd better believe I resent the situation he has created.
Your comment was that you didn't know of more than one BT couple married in the past century. Would you like me to quote your blog for you? "In fact, I can only recall one getting married in St. Louis this century!" I named a few, I can name more. You want me to keep going? I thought I had made my point. And "since the house", even if it was true, what would that have to do with anything? Someone gave them a house that has sat empty (for lack of a salary to pay someone to live in it) and therefore they stopped setting people up? I don't get what A***** being a convert has to do with anything. She converted a few years ago, came back to St. Louis and got married to a guy she was set up with here. Your entire point is that no one is making any effort to marry singles off and that's simply not true. If you mean "she was off-limits before she converted", well, yeah. That's halacha. Sorry. Speed dating in St. Louis died a natural death, btw. You can only run a program with the same people showing up over and over before people stop showing up. Which is what happened. Could they have done a better job of recruiting new people to come? Maybe. But getting people to ANY program - Reform, Conservative, Orthodox, Married, Single - in St. Louis is a major challenge. Aish certainly hasn't cornered the market on that. As to G****** L*** leaving, you are mistaken. The issue was funding. I also have problems with the "revolving door" of rabbis here at Aish, but the problem is not conflict with E*****. I certainly don't agree with him on everything, nor does my husband but that's not why people leave. They leave b/c someone in their infinite wisdom has decided they will give 2 years worth of salary (and it's not a big one, trust me - I've lived off it) and after that time they guy has to raise their own salary. Most of them can't do it. The the same source will turn around and give 2 years worth of salary to yet another "korban", but will not continue funding the original guy. I think it's stupid to keep bring new rabbis here and unrealistic to expect someone to be able to raise their own salary after 2 years, but aish feels they have nothing to lose by taking advantage of the deal - and hence the revolving door. As to E*****, I'm not sure what you have against his real estate dealings. He draws no salary from aish (he might on paper, but trust me, it's been years since he got paid) and he has to support his family. So he deals in real estate on the side (not very successfully lately, I might add, as the market has really gone sour here). That's a problem? In your world if they draw a salary from aish, they're a leach and if they don't draw a salary, they are...? What? Self-supporting for one. And give the guy a break - his family has been practically destroyed, he's got 2 kids with brain injuries from the accident, he works three jobs. That is where I think the slander is really beneath you. So "J**", I'm really not sure what you are trying to accomplish. I agree with you that I think that the direction of programming of Aish St. Louis is targeting the wrong demographic. But I think your blog doesn't nothing to change that and just seems to be a personal vendetta. Not to mention that it is filled with inaccuracies and slander. Don't be a schmuck. C**** W*****
To which this schmuck responded:
This centruy meaning 2000 on up. No, I can't think of two Jews who met at Aish since the house was acquired who got married, nor did you name one. I can only think of one possibility since 2000, and I'm not sure, but I'm giving it the benefit of the doubt, because I don't know for sure that it doesn't qualify. The house has sat vacant for two years, but according to you the salary was there to pay a new rabbi, just not the one who had been there. My issue with the converting is very simple really. Outreach, as I understand it, is supposed to be geared to other Jews. If others want to join, that's great, but it's not encouraged. Therefore, the target demographic that I would think would concern Aish would be Jews looking to explore their roots, not potential converts. Further, to dismiss the off-limits issue as just being halacha might play better in Brooklyn than at Aish. Here, in the real world, when people just shrug and say that's halacha, people accept it as such, but then shouldn't be shocked when a strict interpretation of that halacha, coupled with a lack of outreach to bring in eligible to marry Jews, leads to intermarriage. You're right, most of the rabbis can't secure their own funding. Implicit in that is that some can, and one did. The tragedy to the Aish family is indeed wrenching. But before it happened, several people tried to alert Aish's central offices as to what was happening, or was not happening, in St. Louis, to no avail. Not one single guy I went to classes with at Aish is dating a Jewish woman. And most guys who are committed enough to go to classes would marry Jewish if that were feasible. In closing I have nothing personal against any Aish rabbis. If I were vengeful I might resent the outreach rabbi who is charged with helping Jews grow but doesn't do any outreach to speak of and then voices outrage when people interdate by saying that they will burn in hell and not be buried in a Jewish cemetary. That said, you'd better believe I resent the situation he has created.
Still No Aish St. Louis Baal Tshuva Marriages This Century
I had an interesting e-mail exchange with a former Aish St. Louis rebitzen who challenged the above claim. At the end, she had no choice but to concede her former organization's impotence, although she wasn't mature enough to do it openly. Here, now, for your viewing pleasure is a peak at the dialogue. Names have been redacted to protect the not-so-innocent.
I wasn't sure who was behind the blog, but it only took a bit of poking around to find out. I'm really not sure if I want to waste my time on this, but I like you so here goes...Yes, there have been many Aish BT weddings. Normal people, crazy people, the works. Guess who conceived of the shidduch between me (at the time an Aish St. Louis girl) and my husband? Rabbi G**********. Ok, ancient history. There was a wedding two weeks ago (A***** M***** and D****** R*******) and an engagement announced a few weeks ago (ok, honestly can't remember the woman's name, but she's been coming around for a few years and is marrying L**** F***). Or how about D**** and D**** R***? Also set up by Rabbi G. L*** and J** B*****? Set up by Aish rabbis. I'll be waiting for the mea culpa. As to your assumptions about why people left, you're just mistaken. The biggest issue is funding. I think you're a bright guy and I have had a lot of respect for you, but this blog is just - hmmm, what's the word? Beneath you? I guess that's two words. Esp. since much of what you are posting is slanderous and incorrect. I'm just surprised. C**** W*****
I responded thusly, "Hi C****,My comment was I cannot think of one BT couple who got married since the house was given at the end of 2005. I'm pretty sure your marriage was before the end of 2005. A*****'s a convert; I specified Ba'al Tshuva because otherwise when the potential convert comes to classes, she's off-limits. As far as L**** F*** and the mystery bride, that is in the future. Again, I made it very clear I was talking about marriages between the end of 2005 when the house came into Aish's possession, and today, August 28, 2007. I believe that both the R***'s and B*****'s were married before the house's acquisition, but if not I would suggest two BT marriages in an Aish community that serves 60,000 is not that impressive. As far as why rabbis left, I know one who had the funding and left because he butted heads with the senior rabbi's in terms of outreach techniques, or at least that's what he said. To whatever extent I implied that it was the major reason, mea culpa. But I think 33% still qualifies as a major reason, if not the major one.
To be continued.
I wasn't sure who was behind the blog, but it only took a bit of poking around to find out. I'm really not sure if I want to waste my time on this, but I like you so here goes...Yes, there have been many Aish BT weddings. Normal people, crazy people, the works. Guess who conceived of the shidduch between me (at the time an Aish St. Louis girl) and my husband? Rabbi G**********. Ok, ancient history. There was a wedding two weeks ago (A***** M***** and D****** R*******) and an engagement announced a few weeks ago (ok, honestly can't remember the woman's name, but she's been coming around for a few years and is marrying L**** F***). Or how about D**** and D**** R***? Also set up by Rabbi G. L*** and J** B*****? Set up by Aish rabbis. I'll be waiting for the mea culpa. As to your assumptions about why people left, you're just mistaken. The biggest issue is funding. I think you're a bright guy and I have had a lot of respect for you, but this blog is just - hmmm, what's the word? Beneath you? I guess that's two words. Esp. since much of what you are posting is slanderous and incorrect. I'm just surprised. C**** W*****
I responded thusly, "Hi C****,My comment was I cannot think of one BT couple who got married since the house was given at the end of 2005. I'm pretty sure your marriage was before the end of 2005. A*****'s a convert; I specified Ba'al Tshuva because otherwise when the potential convert comes to classes, she's off-limits. As far as L**** F*** and the mystery bride, that is in the future. Again, I made it very clear I was talking about marriages between the end of 2005 when the house came into Aish's possession, and today, August 28, 2007. I believe that both the R***'s and B*****'s were married before the house's acquisition, but if not I would suggest two BT marriages in an Aish community that serves 60,000 is not that impressive. As far as why rabbis left, I know one who had the funding and left because he butted heads with the senior rabbi's in terms of outreach techniques, or at least that's what he said. To whatever extent I implied that it was the major reason, mea culpa. But I think 33% still qualifies as a major reason, if not the major one.
To be continued.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Happy Holidays?
Aish was right. It is depressing to go to a holiday event and be the only single guy there. Speaking theoretically, I'd say it would be the same for a woman. If only there were an outreach organization whose job it is to actually find Jews who don't attend events and services and get them involved... What would that be like? If someone starts one let me know. I'd be willing to donate.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
More "helpful" Aish Suggestions
Cat , 8/21/2007 12:42:00 PM suggests she adopt a child instead of getting married. I believe this to be the Arkansas model of shiduchim.
Anonymous, 8/19/2007 3:22:00 PM suggests getting dogs, which I believe is the West Virginia method of shiduchim.
And finally, Anonymous, 8/20/2007 11:23:00 AM writes, " I too have paid for a matchmaker and never got matched up. Its a con to swindle vunerable people out of their money." I can't wait to see what she writes when Aish haTorah is through with her!
Anonymous, 8/19/2007 3:22:00 PM suggests getting dogs, which I believe is the West Virginia method of shiduchim.
And finally, Anonymous, 8/20/2007 11:23:00 AM writes, " I too have paid for a matchmaker and never got matched up. Its a con to swindle vunerable people out of their money." I can't wait to see what she writes when Aish haTorah is through with her!
Friday, August 31, 2007
More Comments on Season of Isolation
Sam , 8/23/2007 9:32:00 PM quotes the New Testament. Apparently, just about anything goes, as long as you don't point out Aish's weaknesses.
Not to be outdone, Anonymous, 8/23/2007 8:59:00 AM quotes "Confucianism or another Eastern religion."
And finally (for now) Yehudis , 8/22/2007 9:17:00 PM asks, "Is it really the rabbis fault that she isn't married?" I can't answer for the author, but I can say that the "outreach" "rabbi's" who do precious little outreach won't be able to plead ignorance on Judgment Day.
Not to be outdone, Anonymous, 8/23/2007 8:59:00 AM quotes "Confucianism or another Eastern religion."
And finally (for now) Yehudis , 8/22/2007 9:17:00 PM asks, "Is it really the rabbis fault that she isn't married?" I can't answer for the author, but I can say that the "outreach" "rabbi's" who do precious little outreach won't be able to plead ignorance on Judgment Day.
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